Submitted Date 11/27/2023

The sun feels so good on my skin.

I could lay out here for hours.

I can hear the kids behind me running and jumping into the water.

"I bet I can jump higher than you." My youngest son yells to his brother.

"If you take my sunglasses again, I swear!" I hear my two oldest girls arguing.

I look over at my husband, his hand in mine. I lean into him, he's so warm.

The sun......I could lay here for hours.

"Kiss me." I turn towards him, puckering my lips.

He lends in and kisses me. I can feel his mouth forming a smile halfway through the kiss.

I laugh and pull back; my head falls back, and I can feel the full force of the sun on my skin again.

"Stop running round there like that I told you!"

I can hear a familiar voice some ways behind me telling the kids to stop running in a certain area.

A chill ran through my body.

There's no way that could be her.

Is this a joke?

What the hell!

Was that my mother?

There's no way...

Then I heard my youngest yell, "Grandma look over here!" I immediately turned my head in the direction of her voice. My eyes meet hers and the tears start running down my face instantly.

I slowly got up and started walking towards her.

I can feel the grass under my feet, the spot where water was from the children splashing.

By the time I reach her, I can't control myself and I grab her not wanting to let go.

The smell of her perfume, the curls in her hair, how warm her arm was in one spot from where the sun was hitting her.

She looked up at me as I continued to cry, "Baby are you okay?"

I put one hand on her face, "You have no idea how okay I ..."

Before I could finish my sentence, I looked back because I heard his voice.

"What you over here crying for?"

How could this be, Dad, how are you.......

It didn't matter they were both here, they were both here!

I couldn't control my crying; my husband and kids were looking at me like I was crazy.
"Mom, are you okay?"

Before I could reach my father, I looked back at my mother, and she was gone.

When I looked back at him..............

.............My husband starts shaking me.

"Babe, wake up, hey wake up!"

I opened my eyes; I was crying uncontrollably.

Like an ugly face crying and for a brief moment I realized it was a dream.

It felt so real, why the hell did that feel so real?

I can still smell her perfume; I can still smell her.

"I'm sorry, I don't know what's wrong. I'm just so sad." I continued crying for a few more moments.

I can't tell him I was crying in my dream and that's why I'm crying now.

It wasn't a nightmare, it was real, that felt too real for it to be a dream.

Nope, I'm keeping that one to myself.

I wanted to go back to sleep so badly, but as my reality went on, I slowly forgot why I was so sad.

I grabbed a piece of paper off my bedside table and wrote something down.

I can't forget this; you have to remember.

My husband grabbed my hand and pulled me towards him, he held onto me as I calmed down.

This was the 2nd time this week I woke up either crying or having a full-blown panic attack.

I finally, somewhat, relaxed enough to lay down which helped my husband fall back asleep.

I just stared out the window for a bit, that's when I saw it.

The snow owl was back. It just sat there on the gate looking at me (or so I thought).

I could hear it talking, it was talking to me, just to me.

I closed my eyes.


They were gone.

I opened my eyes and looked over at my phone to see the time.

2 am.

Same time, every time you show up it is always the same time..........always.... the.........

The sun......I could lay out here for hours!.......

"Mom, can we walk with Grandaddy and daddy to the lake?"

Regina M Basile


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