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CONVERSATIONS WITH BANJO THE DOG
Me: [puts doggie's food on convenient-for-him-to-reach platform adjacent to bunk] "How about you eat some breakfast today?"
Banjo the Dog: "I'd love to."
Me: "Oh, great. It's right there for you."
Banjo the Dog: "I don't want THAT breakfast."
Me: "Oh. What do you want?"
Banjo the Dog: "I was just thinking that some of those French toast sticks that Burger King has would be good."
Me: "Yeah, but if you eat those, you'll get bladder stones again, won't you?"
Banjo the Dog: "No, I won't. There's some new research out that says that Burger King doesn't cause stones in canines anymore."
Me: "Really? Since when?"
Banjo the Dog: "Um, I think it said since 2012."
Me: "Was this in an actual peer-reviewed journal?"
Banjo the Dog: "Yeah. It was in JAMA."
Banjo the Dog: "The Journal of the American Medical Association. Surely you've heard of it."
Me [rolls eyes]: "Oh, surely. Yes, of course. JAMA. I'm a big fan of JAMA."
Banjo the Dog: "Ah! Well, then, go get me some French toast sticks."
Me: "I'm afraid I'm going to have to have a look at that article first. Which month was it in, do you recall?"
Banjo the Dog: "I don't. But can't you just take my word for it?"
Me: "Take your word for it?"
Banjo the Dog: "Yeah."
Me: "Um, no, not so much."
Banjo the Dog: "Meh."
Me: "Eat your food and maybe I'll have a look at the JAMA website later. I make no promises."
Banjo the Dog: "Hmmpf."
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