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THE HOT BED
Private Notes
Private Notes
Notes
I am tidying up the hot bed
Laying moon’s quilt over our bodies’ sodden imprint
Lamenting, I shove the wayward bed back against the wall
Fluffing the pillows into shape, properly square.
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Laying moon’s quilt over our bodies’ sodden imprint
Eddies of your smell, rush joyful, swirling
Fluffing the pillows into shape, properly square
Drifting, I run aground in my work clothes.
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Eddies of your smell, rush joyful, dancing
Sharp tang of man, sea musk, sex-salted
Drifting, I run aground in my work clothes
The siren’s call – whiffs of last night’s desire.
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Sharp tang of man, sea musk, sex-salted
I am tidying up the hot bed
The siren’s call – whiffs of last night’s desire
Stoic, I shove the wayward bed tighter against the wall.
Comments
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You’ve turned the mundane act of making a bed into something sensual and passionate. Well done! Raw emotion, tastefully written. Love it!! Great title choice, too.
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Very creative Trudi! I don't think I've ever read something like this. Pretty interesting!
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Thanks - when I first started writing poetry, I was told I sounded like an adolescent girl with a pink pen. Ugh. So I wrote this using a very specific form and that helped with the girlish voice.
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Very nicely done! I love the scent of a (clean) man on the sheets.
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Yes - there is something enticing about the scent but also sad as the world becomes odor-neutral.
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There is something evocative about a place or object where things have happened but now is just a place or object with memories. You have captured that quite well. "Laying moon’s quilt over our bodies’ sodden imprint"
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What a lovely thing to say! Making the bed is one of the most blushing of activities ...
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Thank you. It's always a little weird feeling to put something out that is erotic in nature but I do believe literature can ask the reader to explore a daily activity.