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THE HOT BED

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Submitted Date 01/17/2019
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Private Notes

I am tidying up the hot bed

Laying moon’s quilt over our bodies’ sodden imprint

Lamenting, I shove the wayward bed back against the wall

Fluffing the pillows into shape, properly square.

 

Laying moon’s quilt over our bodies’ sodden imprint

Eddies of your smell, rush joyful, swirling

Fluffing the pillows into shape, properly square

Drifting, I run aground in my work clothes.

 

Eddies of your smell, rush joyful, dancing

Sharp tang of man, sea musk, sex-salted

Drifting, I run aground in my work clothes

The siren’s call – whiffs of last night’s desire.

 

Sharp tang of man, sea musk, sex-salted

I am tidying up the hot bed

The siren’s call – whiffs of last night’s desire

Stoic, I shove the wayward bed tighter against the wall.

Comments

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  • Tanya Marion 3 years, 8 months ago

    You’ve turned the mundane act of making a bed into something sensual and passionate. Well done! Raw emotion, tastefully written. Love it!! Great title choice, too.

    • Trudi Young Taylor 3 years, 8 months ago

      Thank you. It's always a little weird feeling to put something out that is erotic in nature but I do believe literature can ask the reader to explore a daily activity.

  • Tomas Chough 3 years, 6 months ago

    Very creative Trudi! I don't think I've ever read something like this. Pretty interesting!

    • Trudi Young Taylor 3 years, 6 months ago

      Thanks - when I first started writing poetry, I was told I sounded like an adolescent girl with a pink pen. Ugh. So I wrote this using a very specific form and that helped with the girlish voice.

  • Miranda Fotia 3 years, 6 months ago

    Very nicely done! I love the scent of a (clean) man on the sheets.

    • Trudi Young Taylor 3 years, 6 months ago

      Yes - there is something enticing about the scent but also sad as the world becomes odor-neutral.

  • Rick Doble 3 years, 6 months ago

    There is something evocative about a place or object where things have happened but now is just a place or object with memories. You have captured that quite well. "Laying moon’s quilt over our bodies’ sodden imprint"

    • Trudi Young Taylor 3 years, 6 months ago

      What a lovely thing to say! Making the bed is one of the most blushing of activities ...