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BUT I CAN'T
Private Notes
Private Notes
Notes
But I can't,
I say.
I can't,
I can't.
It's too hard
going there and seeing,
seeing the cold hard stone
standing so tall.
It's a monolith that haunts me
in my dreams.
Every night since that day
I go to sleep
and wake up
with scenes I've tried to be rid of.
For the past 2 months
I've started taking a small white pill
just to try to keep them at bay
...it doesn't help.
And now here I am,
fighting myself,
my thoughts,
my memories,
to try and be here.
I don't know what I am looking for
but someone told me I might find it here.
I don't think they were right.
As I head home,
driving the roads as if on autopilot
I tell myself
I can't do that again
I can't
I can't.
But that night,
I don't wake up,
I don't see it
In my dreams.
Comments
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It's too hardgoing there and seeing,seeing the cold hard stonestanding so tall.
It took me a while to figure out what the poem was about, then I had to retrace my steps of the poem, and these lines put it all into perspective. Definitely all makes sense now. This truly is a hard time for anyone. This describes the feeling of grief perfectly. -
Raw and open, you don't shy away from how hard it is.
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As I head head
I think this may be a typo on page 2 . Great piece! I can definitely sympathize with feeling like you can't deal with the reminders of losing someone and the feeling of being on autopilot. Thanks for sharing!-
Yes, it was supposed to be head home. Thank you for that!
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Yeah, I didn't want it to be so clear. Thanks :)