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Private Notes
Private Notes
Notes
acceptance over a situation or going back?
Is trying to get answers a bad idea? could she get hurt once again? Her trust in him is gone. the fondness she held for her first love was anything but kind. She didn't even know if she loved him at all.
Love is a sick and cruel full game. Especially the first one yet I'm still looking closer at the one I have wondering if it will work out...
The first love is suppose to hold a lot of power and over me... It kind of does. I still wonder to this day on why he decided to do what he did. Why he decided me of all people within my school.
I was the shy kid that just so happened to have known many people and made friends really easily. I'm not overconfident but I can be cocky.
I was barley aware of myself....
Six almost seven years later...
I stand on my own almost. I have a person that means the most to me but I'm still struggling, I want to be with him but I'm trapped in an endless mind game that I didn't sign up for.
He doesn't have to deal with all my flaws but he does. He's patient and he watches out for me. He's been there for me everytime I needed him yet here I am thinking about my ex.
I like to think of him as my only ex if I'm being perfectly honest.
Riley the guy I liked for a while just ended up being a friends with benefits and the guy before him... let's just same ehhhh..
the guy in between definetly dose not count.
so why do I want to hurt myself and go through talking to him again...
is it closure I really want?
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