WHAT IS FOCUS?

Focus is something that is extremely difficult for me.

I seem to go through phases.

I have an interest in almost every field.

I focus on it for a few weeks or maybe just a few days.

I lose sleep learning about something new.

I obsess when I discover something new.

But then, after the initial thrill, it leaves my mind.

At least, the motivation to pursue it does.

Then, I move to something new.

Sure, its great that I "dabble" in lots of different things.

But I will never master anything.

And then a few months pass or a few years.

I feel like a failure for losing interest and motivation.

Its not that I don't want to.

My brain just is so interested in everything that I fail to focus on anything.

Yes I have a career field I am fascinated with.

I have studies that I don't deviate from.

I have a future set up.

But its my downtime I struggle most with.

If I devoted myself to a particular hobby or interest I could be 100% fulfilled.

Instead I try everything.

I'm at my happiest in life.

I'm more introspective than ever.

Yet, I still struggle with focusing.

I don't worry about it.

I know I won't change.

I know it doesn't really matter in the end.

But, here's an ode to my lack of serious productivity in my personal life.

And my never-ending struggle to actually do the things I want to.