Submitted Date 03/06/2019

Leaving a toxic relationship may sound like an easy chore. Why would you want to stay with someone who makes you miserable, just walk away right? It’s harder than it looks because part of the toxicity is them making you feel bad for wanting to leave. I’m going to list and detail a couple things that worked for me while I was leaving and after I left that helped for me in hopes that someone reading this will start taking the steps to better themselves and leave.

1.Learn to start loving yourself again, understand this will be hard while you are still in the relationship and you don’t necessarily have to leave to do this, which is why it’s step one. Remember the things that made you happy before and slowly re-introduce yourself to doing those things again.

2. Start removing yourself. Begin to do certain things without that person if possible. Try and begin adjusting to the idea of not having them there.

3. Make a list of the good things and the bad things in the relationship and weigh out if dealing with the bad things are really worth having the good.

4. Leave. Take the last steps and leave the situation. Whether you have to run to another state or just leave that persons house, go far and fast. Cut all communications as hard as it may be because they will try and guilt trip you into coming back.

5. Find yourself again and continuously remind yourself why you left. I created a list of all the bad things he had done to me and every time I wanted to call I looked at it instead. Begin working on yourself instead of being focused on finding someone else is also important. Often the emotional baggage of being in a toxic relationship will make you somewhat toxic in the next relationship if you move on too quickly.

6. Reconnect with old friends you might have cut off for that person. Say your apologies where they are due and make peace with everyone you had wronged during that period of time.

The hardest part of leaving will be cutting communication. Normally no matter how toxic it was you will always miss the actual person but not the actions. You’ll want to hear their voice, see them smile, laugh with them, etc but you have to remember the consequences that come with returning to the situation. Over time I do believe people change and it took two years before I ever spoke to the man I left again, he’s a completely different person but I could never be with him because of the horrible history we have. You always have to keep your well being in mind first because you are your own longest commitment.


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