MY TRUTH

The worst thing a so-called friend can do is violate you. I remember it like it was yesterday. I was a truck driver starting a new job as a local driver at the time I was living alone, and my partner had to stay with her family because of her kids. My girlfriend insisted on me having more friends and going out, so I called my old friends and I did. I decided to be friends with a male that was working at the warehouse I used to pick up auto parts. He seemed like a nice person, so I thought why not. He asked once if I ever wanted kids, and I said maybe one day. I also was clear that I love women and my girlfriend, so he knew I was lesbian or whatever you want to call it. So, after going out several times as friends, I never stop reminding him that I was not into him at all. Unfortunately, I got hurt moving stuff out of our storage, and I was in a lot of pain, there was nobody around to ask to accompany me to the doctor but him. so, I ended up asking him, and he did go with me to the doctor. I went into the doctor's room by myself… The doctor told me that he was going to give me a shot for the pain and that I couldn't drive and needed someone to be with me to drive me home. I said go ahead and give me the shot to the doctor. It took a few minutes for the shot to start giving me any effects I got on the phone with my roommate she told me she was unable to come and stay with me then called my girlfriend who was working I told her I required her or someone to come to stay with me because I had a very strange feeling and I didn't want to be alone with him, I was speaking in Spanish to her, so he wouldn't understand. At that moment, I turned to see him with a big smile on his face. I couldn't get anyone to come and stay with me, and he didn't have a car, so I was unable to tell him to leave. My room didn't have a door, the only room with a door was the bathroom. I didn't make it to the bathroom. I only have memories and feelings. By the time I woke up my bra was undone, my pants and underwear were halfway down, and I smelled like saliva all over. He was sitting inside my room with his belt in his hand and his pants undone. I got up and went to the bathroom. As soon as I started to pee I felt pain and discomfort in my private parts and a yellowish whitish color discharge was left on the toilet paper after I wiped. I felt confused. I wanted him out of my house. Furthermore, I remember driving him back to his house, and thereafter, I only worked a few days. Likewise, I couldn't handle it, and then I quit my job. Not only that, but I didn't want to see him anymore. Furthermore, I didn't report him because it would be my word against his. Likewise, I felt ashamed and disgusted.

Trusting a man is something I will never do again.

And the reality of going through an experience like this. I'm sure I speak for many when I say, you never get over it, you see through it. I'm still not able to watch a movie with any sexual assault without feeling angry and going back to those moments. The feeling of shame and guilt of doing nothing still haunts me at times.