Submitted Date 01/13/2019

When to let go?

A lot of times we hold onto relationships (friends, family, significant others) because of the history we share, and the fond memories we had. We forget about the present situation, and seem to replay those good ole times like family home videos in our minds, as if it fits the same scenario as person you’ve been facing everyday. But at what point do we stop being lenient based upon our history with these individuals than we start taking into account the now, and start deducting those actions to come to the conclusion how much of additional stress can we take on till we break even and break down?


When do we let go?

When you feel like you’re sounding like a broken record?

You know that moment when you start the conversation about addressing said person about what they did to hurt or annoy you, and then those memories come back to you with the help from your conscious, who starts to beat you upside the back of your head with one of those big Bamm Bamm (from the Flintstones) clubs, that this is about the umpteenth time the person has done this. The conversation you’ve created in your mind like a stage play, plays out like a deja vu. You then go from what seemed like a resolve of you getting what’s been sitting on your heart and soul, to feeling speechless. You’ve run out of energy and words to say because you know this is pointless. You indeed sound like a broken record, your reflection in the mirror is now yelling this at you.


Stress is your best friend on speed dial

Every time you’re around this person, you feel stress and anxiety. Those of you that deal with this, you know the feeling. It’s hard to explain, but it’s that feeling in your head that seems to weigh down your whole world. You get consumed with all these negative energies and thoughts, like a whole ocean-sized black cloud is forming right near your forehead as it grows bigger and bigger like tidal winds in a forest fire, until it eventually explodes and you start to drown as it submerges you under its murky waters into a piranha-frenzied pit. You can’t seem to work, you can’t focus, you can’t seem to shake the toxicity that is, what overcomes you when you think, speak, or are any way, involved with this person.


A large majority of your conversation with your besties are about them

You notice that you never seem to be able to call your friends about the good things that are going on in your life, or the many things that have generally caught your spirit, and you’re just intrigued to explore in a conversation with your best friends. Irritated, aggravated, annoyed, is always the mood and words that fill the conversations and the time around them.


You start to feel guilty even talking about these situations with friends

You ever feel like, “I know if I tell my friend that I’m cool with this person again, they’re going to be side-eyeing me”? Like you feel like you just can’t genuinely talk to your friend(s) again, knowing there’s no fence between you and that person anymore, and now the “grass is greener.” You know that feeling. You’re just wasting your best friend(s) time complaining because you’re just going to go back to that person. You’ve felt it, and felt like you don’t even want to share anything about that person because you’re going to be judged, but you know at the end of the day, those (judge)ments are right. It’s truth.


When to let go?

When your circle is more like the eye of a tornado.



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  • Rick Doble 5 years, 2 months ago

    Good series of thoughts -- like your Abuse article. I have one rule, How do I feel when I am around another person? Do I feel comfortable or anxious or nervous? If I feel comfortable, then it's okay. If I feel like I am on alert or need to watch what I am saying, then it's not okay.