Submitted Date 10/21/2022

Social media controls everything. What if what you posted became your own reality. Dreams are possible. You can be anything you want to be in life. Don't let people influence you. They can brain wash your mind. In this case, follow your hear. No matter what obstacles you may face, there is always light at the end of the tunnel. There is hope no one is a lost cause. Everyone deserves a second chance. I personally believe I have been resurrected and saved. I was weak and tired from a L.A trip(5 hrs) plus a 3 hr difference. I was sick vomiting could barely breath. I landed up passed out unconscious where my Dad had to call 911 for emergency. I was admitted initially with no heart beat. Yet, I am alive today which I am grateful for because God was watching over me. It was not time to go yet. I still have a purpose.

Mostly on social media is all my accomplishments. I am proud of what I do. I want to help inspire others. This second chance, I can make the most out of it. Before it was the experience that counts which was a lot of ups and downs along the way, but now it is the dream. Never give up on your goals. Continue writing your story. You must make progress and learn lessons to become a stronger person.

At first my L.A experience was unbelievable. I originally thought I was casting for a showcase by a director. I spent time practicing my lines and trying to memorize my scene for "Monkey Robots". I was one of the last few to film for my scene. However, I nailed it in the end. I spent my time coaching with professionals and celebrities including Adrian La Mante, Sophia Oda from the Disney channel with Zack and Cody.

Then it turned into a vacation. I was staying at The Sheraton Universal with nice amenities such as outside pool and hot tub as well as a connected bar/restaurant. I was right next to Universal studios the amusement park..

Then when I came home I got really sick. I could barely stand on my feeet from lack of hydration and nutrition. I was very weak and tired and I was vomiting. I then passed out unconscious. Could barely breathe and I felt my heart beat slow down. My Dad had to call 911 for emergency. I felt the ride in the ambulance but, was still going in and out. I was hospitalized at Fairfax Hospital for a few days. I had a bad experience there.

I was hallucinating. Seeing things and hearing things that aren't really there. Plus, doctors and nurses were not too helpful even though I had another breakdown. After, I was transferred to a rehab facility for short term. I was there for 3 days. I had a lot of ups and downs. I only wanted to be discharged to go home.

On a Friday, I had more acting to keep me busy with my casting director. The scenes were printed out. I still had to memorize my lines. This would be my first day back to normal life. To return to my every day activities. Time to rejoice for a second chance. Break into the light. I will be reunited with my Dad. It will be good to live in the moment again and focus on my goals. Dream big!

Maybe reality is only an illusion due to a lack of alcohol. I say this because your perception of how you see things is everything. You have to have a strong vision and know where you are going in life. I believe we can manifest things if we have a clear purpose in life.

I desperately want to go back to L.A. In October, I am participating in L.A fashion week as a model and designer. I feel like I had a set back but, I am ready to get back on my feet even stronger. I was able to push through these obstacles of being in a rehab facility. Set backs do not equal failure. I came in there to get better and recover. Plus, I had a chance to interact with the community.

In addition, other doors are opening for me too. As far as art, I sold 10 original paintings to an art gallery in Portugal. Beauty is in the eye of the holder. My style is abstract versus traditional. I enjoy doing collages too. They will provide the framing for me for display. This would be a big profit for me. Also, I get to go international. It would be great public exposure to share my work with the world.

I have another opportunity where I started getting more into music. I do karaoke for fun. I enjoy singing. I am co-working with a DJ to remix the song " Somebody I Used to Know". I wrote my own song lyrics. I was selected by Coast to Coast live Am radio to perform in concert. It will be my first time on stage for 12/16/22.

I honestly, feel so blessed. Everything seems to be falling in place. I just need to learn to relax and not overthink things.No more what if's. I need to trust my instincts and my guidance. It may take progress, but everything will be fine. I was in good hands at the rehab facility. Now, I am back home safe. The staff there was very friendly and helpful. I found my inner peace and confidence.

Looking back, I will miss that place. It was pleasant overall. Thanks for the memories! In the beginning, it felt like I was in the twilight zone due to my hallucinations which thankfully have subsided. I am much calmer now. There's always ups and downs in life like a rollercoaster. I am a survivor which is a miracle after the initial trauma I went through.

However, I started to see things from a different perspective of who I might be. My eyes opened up to how everything is connected. The past, present, and future defines who you are. It's about discovering yourself. Knowing your goals. Also, there is a whole other world out there filled with mysteries such as outer space, time travel etc but, I could just be tripping right now from my meds. Though even though I felt like I did not fit in before I think I found a place where I belong. I wish I can have my cake and eat it too. The best of both worlds on this interesting journey. Some people live a double reality but, either way things will work out fine.

So, it takes a lot of courage to go through a rehab program but, I am happy that I did it. I am at the end of my journey of accepting myself regardless of failure La or mistakes. I love my imperfections. I am ready to thrive. Self care is most important. I prioritize my well being. Do not set boundaries. I need to express my needs and concerns more. Speak up for myself. I am capable of doing things. I realize my energy effects others. I believe in karma. What goes around comes back around. Kindness is everything. I even believe in manifestation. You have to have faith that things will work out in the end. Know your worth. Don't sell yourself short. Things can turn around for positive change. If at first you don't succeed, pick yourself up and try again. Start a fresh life. Take risks. I believe everything happens for a reason.

Tracie Sperling


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