Submitted Date 03/29/2019

You told me it was beautiful.

The way my eyes looked, the way they shined like stars.

But you did not realize.

That shine in my eye, that was not because I gazed so lovingly into yours.

It was because I cried.

I cried every time you left.

I cried every time I washed my hands of you. I cried every time I rubbed my skin raw because clean is not clean enough and silent is quite quiet because even though I screamed inside my heart very few people found the time to pick it apart and see past that shining stars shell.

I was in hell.

All you saw from the outside in was what I pasted to the window sill.

And still I cry sometimes at night because I can't stop from moving because stopping means sleeping and sleeping means dreams and dreams drag up memories of you.

What you would do.

In 7 years I'll have a body, completely new, one never touched by you and that's what gets me through.



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