I WILL THRIVE

What you are about to read in this blog is my ability to survive and overcome bigotry, and opportunism in all aspects of life. When you have no physical disability, it's easier to deal with discrimination you learn to ignore. But what happens when suddenly that changes? Well, that's precisely what happened to me. It happened on 4/13/2018 that evening I don't recall the time, I also don't remember anything during or after my car when off a ditch up in the mountains.​ I only remember waking up in a hospital bed confused and scared.​ I was sedated most of the time, so I don't know how long I was in intensive care.​ But I do remember one of the doctors coming into the room letting me know I needed urgent surgery to repair my left side humerus and clavicle and he also I recall said, "you are lucky, and you have broken all your ribs too" I was still confused and between drowsy and awake.​ I went ahead and sign the papers for the surgery.​ Some days passed, and I was told that I needed to be transferred to a rehabilitation hospital.​ At this point I was even more confused I just agreed with everything they said because they wouldn't let me get out of bed I wasn't able to eat solid food I had a tube inside my left lug and a catheter, so I knew something was wrong.​ Days passed and my will to keep going just got stronger.​ I wasn't told what to expect or if I would ever be able to walk on my own.​ My mother was in denial about the outcome I clearly remember her telling me to "just get up and walk try to leave the wheelchair", My stepfather was also in the room I remember supporting my mother's way of encouragement he said, "I got up and started walking after surgery I didn't care". I just didn't say a thing. In my mind, I was asking God for strength, to deal with the anger I was feeling. The day had come for me to be discharged from the hospital, and I was so happy. I am not the type of person that likes hospitals or being sick. So, this was not a pleasant time for me. Getting out and not being able to walk like before without needing a quad or without losing my balance was a challenge, emotionally it was crushing me inside, especially my pride, but I never complained to anyone or showed my pain for the first year I cried in silence. After not being able to get the support I required from my family, I decided that I needed to move out.

I reached out to someone I had met before the accident, and they introduced me to an older woman with strange beliefs about religion and so on. This person seemed to want to help, so I allowed it. She offered me a place to rent in her house, so I accepted. I thought it was the perfect opportunity to get away, I would be one hour away from my family. In the beginning, things were okay, but as soon as I started researching more into their religious beliefs I realized most of the things I was told were not true, I didn't feel comfortable anymore after my research I stopped going to their gatherings or even practicing anything that they did. That provoked a confrontation between me and the woman, one day I didn't want to go to a gathering she got upset and decided she was going to talk to me even if I didn't want to she knocked on the door I wouldn't open, so she had her key and went ahead and open the RV and came in. I was upset, and I told her "get out, I would rather not talk to you". But she didn't listen, so I grabbed my phone and told her, "I'm calling the cops '. That made her step outside. When the police officer got there he asked me what was going on, and I told him "she's upset because I don't want to go to her religious gatherings" then he proceeded to let me know she was accusing me of being suicidal I couldn't believe what he was telling me she told him "I was going to kill myself". I asked him, "do I look suicidal to you"? He just smiled, I told him "I'm moving out, just let her know I do not want her around me until I'm able to move out".

That was that and eventually, I moved out. I found a nice, quiet RV Park for people that needed time to recuperate. I was comfortable. Furthermore, I even met a couple of neighbors that were very helpful, especially one older lady who gave me her number and volunteered to help me pick up groceries and take me to my doctor's appointments. Like always everything was fine at the beginning until I started feeling worse, and my equilibrium also started getting worse. After an incident witnessed by one of my neighbors, he went ahead and got me a wheelchair. I was not too happy about it, but I knew I required it. My neck started feeling like a noodle. I couldn't hold it in place. My balance started getting worse, my leg was going out more, and my pain was also getting worse. So that pleasant older Lady came to my RV and told me you should get rid of your lawyer and let me represent you. I laughed, and I said no, but I can put you as my witness. So, I did, "oh how much I regret that". After that things changed She became bossier she wouldn't let people address me, she would get in the middle of our conversations. One afternoon I grabbed the wheelchair to go speak to my landlord, well the older Lady found me halfway to the office, when we got there I was on an ongoing conversation with my landlord when she interrupted and stepped in the middle and wouldn't let me talk she started speaking over me, I was upset, and I told her, please let me talk and don't interrupt me. She was so upset we started moving away and slowly to my right ear next to my shoulder she bends down and starts insulting me and then telling me I will never disrespect her like that I remain calm until I got to my RV after that I got on the phone with my landlord and I told her I do not want her helping me at all. The landlord had no problems listening to me because she told me that she had heard everything. I felt relieved and safe, with nothing to prove. But thereafter, I started running out of my savings, so I had to move out again.

I called my mom and asked for help. She told me she had a friend with a big house that had just been bought. She also said, "I will help pay your rent," I said okay. The lady seemed nice, but with problems. She told me I could go inside to cook or put things in the refrigerator. But of course, that didn't work. Occasionally my things would be placed somewhere else where I couldn't get them. My wheelchair was unable to go inside, which made things more difficult for me. I remember having access to an extension cord to charge my cell phone and cook on my electric skillet, no refrigerator, no air conditioner, and no microwave. I survived on canned food and dry products. Occasionally they would get upset, so I suddenly didn't have power or water, multiple times. I had to call the cops to come and have them restore the water and power. I remember her asking to speak with me. Furthermore, I didn't know what about until she told me maybe I should consider going to a retirement home or an institution, you can also tell them you're suffering from bipolar diseases, so you can receive your benefits faster. Likewise, I was furious but didn't show her any emotions and said to her that's illegal, and I am still able to be independent. Not only that, but I just need physical help. Thereafter, I distance myself from all of them. Later they brought an adorable pit bull to the house, but unfortunately, that only cost more problems for me. As the dog grew bigger people were more afraid,, especially after the pit bull attacked one of my Medical driver's no one wanted to go inside. After the incident, weeks passed without me being able to get my medication delivered or even have visitors. My family didn't even want to come, especially my brother, who at the time would pick up my groceries from Walmart to bring them to me. He was also uncomfortable with the dog. For a long time, I suffered in silence again until I was able to get my disability benefits and move out of there.

The reason I share my experience is to make people aware of what some people are capable of without any consideration for their physical limitations. Just because you think someone's lying does not make it true, maybe in the person's mind. If you're not someone's doctor, what gives you the right to assume and judge?

The only thing I've learned from this experience is patience, tolerance, and forgiveness. And absolutely no judging.

-jb1writes