BREASTFEEDING IN PUBLIC UNCOVERED: TO FEED OR NOT TO FEED?

So, I've been seeing a lot of articles lately about the act of breastfeeding in public and the negative reactions and comments some women have been receiving about doing so. The most recent one I read was about a mother, Stephanie Vandenberg, who contacted Air Canada's airline customer service in preparation for her flight with her baby. Apparently, when discussing feeding arrangements, the representative she was speaking with instructed her to breastfeed in the bathroom.

Would you want to eat a meal in this bathroom?

After Vandenberg tweeted about the incident, Air Canada responded to her tweet and said that the representative she spoke with was new and was mistaken about their breastfeeding policy.

This is one of many incidents in recent headlines involving mothers not being made to feel welcome to nurse their infants in public. Annie Peguero was another woman who was urged not to nurse uncovered at the Summit Church in Springfield, Virginia. As she began breastfeeding her 19 month-old daughter, a woman immediately came over and encouraged her to go to the baby room. However, Peguero declined the invitation because her daughter was finishing up and it didn't seem necessary. The lady then responded more forcefully and said, "No, we're going to the baby room now." By that time, her daughter was finished, so Peguero told the lady, "No, I'm not going." Later, the woman who previously confronted her told her that she was specifically trained to uphold the church's policy to stop women from breastfeeding in the sanctuary without a cover, a policy that is actually in violation of Virginia law.

In Virginia, it is completely legal to breastfeed uncovered and many states have similar laws for nursing mothers. In fact, according to the National Conference of State Legislatures website, "all fifty states, the District of Columbia, Puerto Rico and the Virgin Islands have laws that specifically allow women to breastfeed in any public or private location." Additionally, the website says that thirty of those states, the District of Columbia, Puerto Rico and the Virgin Islands "exempt breastfeeding from public indecency laws." If you wish to see a list of current breastfeeding laws by state, go to http://www.ncsl.org/research/health/breastfeeding-state-laws.aspx for more information.

The legality of breastfeeding in public is not really up for debate. Regardless of the law, it seems that even when women nurse their infants with a cover on, they may still be on the receiving end of negative comments even though they are perfectly within their rights to do so anywhere they need to. In addition, the majority of the states provide exemptions to nursing mothers from indecent exposure and obscenity, so unless you are living in one of those states that do not provide that exemption, there really isn't much you can do if you are opposed to where a woman has chosen to "set up shop". This seems to be what the larger issue is when there is a debate on the topic.

Many people are offended by the sight of a woman breastfeeding in public for several reasons, but why? When surfing the web to see how people really felt about it, I found an abundance of people who seem infuriated by women who expose their breasts to nurse, even when the women do so with a cover over the baby. There are some people that even take it to the next level by comparing breastfeeding in public to exposing one's genitals in public, urinating in public or masturbating in public. No. It is not even close. Breasts are not genitals. They just aren't. While I am sure that there is probably a small percentage of women who might get a thrill from irritating others who are offended by the act of breastfeeding, I can assure you that it is a rare occurrence. The majority of mothers who breastfeed in public without a cover are not trying to be exhibitionists, they are just trying to feed a hungry baby. Furthermore, breastfeeding an infant is not a sexual act. I am sure that it would not be too hard to find pornography with women using their breast milk in unconventional ways as there are fetishes known to be associated with that. It is not my place to shame anyone for their fetishes or what they like to do behind closed doors, however, there should not be any comparison between the sexual actions of consenting adults and the act of nursing an infant. They are not the same.

For those who compare breastfeeding in public to urination…no. Breast milk should not even be compared to urine. Yes, it is a bodily fluid, however, it is safe for human consumption, is used for food and is not excreted through the genitals. Therefore, it is not at all like urinating in public.

Finally, to those who compare breastfeeding in public to masturbating in public, again…no. Yes, the nipples are erogenous zones. However, it is my personal experience that breastfeeding hurts...a lot! When my daughter was learning to latch on, it was excruciating and even when she learned to latch properly and I had healed, breastfeeding was still uncomfortable and just barely tolerable. There is some relief in feeding a hungry infant when a woman's breasts are engorged because being engorged hurts, but there is absolutely no sexual satisfaction involved from my perspective. I cannot speak for other women and their experiences, but I assume it is a rare occurrence to feel sexual pleasure while nursing an infant, therefore, nursing in public should not be compared to masturbating in public.

On the more moderate side of the argument, there are also some people that seemed somewhat undecided on the issue, but they can't help but feel uncomfortable when they see a woman nursing in public whether she is covered or uncovered. I don't think that these people should be shamed for their discomfort. We all have our own perceptions about modesty and how we feel about female breasts. To a certain extent, I can understand and sympathize with some of the arguments against women fully exposing their breasts while nursing in public.

Some will argue that if men have to follow the "no shoes, no shirt, no service" rule that so should women. I can understand the logic there, although when men expose their nipples, it doesn't really serve a purpose other than to keep cool in hot weather.

Surprisingly, I noticed a great deal of strong negative opinions came from women. Most women who argued against it stated that they didn't like it when other women fully exposed one of their breasts to nurse because they didn't want their significant other to get an eyeful of another woman's breast. Okay, I can sympathize with their insecurity, however, a simple glance is not a big deal.

Have you seen some of the covers on Sports Illustrated? You can see more of a woman's breast on those covers than you will likely ever be able to see of a woman's breast who is nursing. Not that I completely support the magazine or the media who constantly parade women around as sexual objects, however, that is another topic of discussion. If your significant other cannot seem to take their eyes off of another woman's breast while she is nursing, it seems to me, that maybe your significant other may be the one with the problem. With pornography so easily accessible for everyone on their mobile devices, pornography addictions are on the rise. Perhaps your significant other may need to seek professional help if they cannot control themselves and politely look away when they see a woman nursing a child. I'm not trying to throw shade, all I am saying is that if I happen to notice someone doing something in public that is personal, embarrassing, intimate or something that is personally offensive to me, I make a conscious decision to look away in order to relieve the awkwardness I may feel or that they may feel. If I was unable to avert my eyes in one of those situations, it might mean that I might have an unhealthy obsession that prevents me from being able to do so.

Another argument, one that I can sympathize with the most, is that some parents don't want their children, especially their sons, to see a woman's breast because they do not feel it is appropriate to discuss it with them yet or they are not yet prepared to explain breastfeeding to their children. Though I may not share the same views as them on the matter, I get it. I recently had to explain breastfeeding to my daughter and it was an awkward discussion for me. However, most children do not really perceive women's breasts as sexual, they only know that breasts are a "private area" in a sense that they know it is not polite to reach out and grab a woman's breast. To my daughter, it was just kind of funny to her. She didn't realize that women's breasts really had a purpose. We discussed how people are mammals and just like female cows, cats, dogs, etc., female humans can also produce milk to feed their young. It really was not that big of a deal to her. It was uncomfortable for me, but I think that has more to do with how I perceive the female breasts due to the way our society has oversexualized the female form, especially the breasts.

When I was a child, my church specifically emphasized the importance of modesty in young women. With a large majority of our country being Christian, I understand why people look at breasts the way they do, but let's not forget why women have breasts in the first place. Women's breasts are meant to produce milk in order to help sustain the life of their children. Breast fetishes and sexual arousal that comes from viewing female breasts is a social construction. There are so many countries and cultures who view women's breasts as just another part of the body. Tribal communities are one example, but they aren't the only ones. Many countries in Europe do not even have breastfeeding laws on the books because the act of public breastfeeding is so commonplace.

In the article, "How Public Breastfeeding Became Taboo in America", Amy Bentley describes her theory about when females breasts became sexualized in our society. In the article, she states:

"The sexualization of the breast, already under way by the 19th century, was accelerated by the World War II pinup girl poster, postwar soft porn such as Playboy magazine, and the popularity of such Hollywood icons as Marilyn Monroe. The result created an incongruity of the breast as a source of infant nutrition. As breasts became more sexualized, they became less functional: more the purview of men as sexual objects and less the domain of infants and as a source of food. As this transformation continued, breastfeeding, especially in public, became less normal and more taboo, and by midcentury most Americans attached a vague sense of disgust to the practice. Now that breasts were primarily sexual, the idea of women breastfeeding infants, especially in public, but even in private, felt abnormal and destabilizing. Modernity apparently did not include breastfeeding women; by implication breasts were for men and sex."

Bentley also theorized in the article that America's attitude toward public breastfeeding came about due to the rise of the commercial food industry and the idea that seemed to progress at that time that only "uncivilized" people nursed instead of using formula and baby food. Advertising campaigns made using formula seem more modern and convenient.

Honestly, it is more convenient and I can understand why many women, especially those who have to go back to work right away, choose to use formula.

My own opinion on the subject matter is a little more on the modest side. I was a "shy nurser". When I was in school, I was never one of those girls who freely and proudly undressed in the locker room for gym class. My main goal for getting undressed and dressed in the locker room was to do so as quickly as possible without showing very much of myself in the process. I'm not sure why, but that's just how I was. I was only 23 when I had my daughter and still very insecure about my body at that time. The first week after my daughter was born, the doctors told me that she hadn't gained any weight and was actually losing weight, likely because I wasn't producing enough milk or because she wasn't latching on properly. In order to make sure that she was getting enough to eat, I was required to feed her every two hours. This was a huge struggle for me. I was extremely sleep deprived at that time and it felt very isolating. I felt trapped in my own home, not only because of how embarrassing I thought it would be to nurse in public, but also because I was so fearful of the reaction I might receive by others if they saw me doing it. Going out for doctor's appointments or for errands was very stressful to prepare for. My milk supply was fairly low, therefore, in preparation of such errands, I had to pump and save up a little at a time so I could ensure that I would have a whole bottle for her when we went out, but if I pumped too much I wouldn't be able to produce enough for her next feeding. Only pumping a little at a time required several mini sessions with the pump while she napped. Since I was only getting two hours of uninterrupted sleep at a time, I really could have used those nap times to catch up on my own sleep and to be honest, I spent many of those mini sessions at the pump crying from sheer exhaustion. Furthermore, bottle feeding my daughter breast milk when we were out became quite the ordeal as well. Breast milk is warm when it comes "straight from the tap" so, naturally, my daughter did not want to drink it if it was not warm. We had one of those travel bottle warmers that you plug into the car lighter, but it didn't really work well unless we were driving for more than an hour because the breast milk was cold from being stored in the refrigerator. So, to further warm the breast milk, we would try our luck at public restrooms in hopes of being able to run the bottle under some hot water. Now, don't get me wrong, I love the idea of the faucets that stop after a certain amount of time in order to conserve water. I am definitely a person who does not want to waste water, however, I loathed those faucets at that time. Every time I would try to warm her bottle by running it under some hot water at one of those faucets, it would stop before it even had a chance to get warm. No warm bottle meant an unhappy baby crying in public and guess who doesn't like crying babies? The public….the same public that does not welcome mothers nursing their babies.

So, I stayed at home as much as I could. I was lucky I was able to do so. Due to the lack of support and public accommodations for me as a nursing mother, I gave up after 3 months. It was too isolating and too hard to keep up with. Most health professionals say that formula is fine to substitute instead of breast milk, however, the majority of them also say that breast milk is the best option for babies. This proved true for my daughter because as soon as we put her on regular formula she became a spit-up fountain. To resolve the acid reflux, the doctor suggested we try the soy formula and, luckily, the spit-up slowed down quite a bit. Unfortunately, the soy formula caused her to stay terribly constipated unless we gave her prune juice with water. It was miserable. We weren't able to resolve the constipation issues very well until she was old enough to start eating fruits and veggies at 6 months old. I felt so much guilt when I quit nursing. Her digestive system had such a hard time with formula, but by the time we realized it, my milk supply was gone.

From my experiences and thinking about it rationally, I think nursing mothers should not be made to feel so unwelcome. I think our society needs to "grow up" and get over how we feel about female breasts being exposed while nursing. While I was too embarrassed to nurse in public myself, that does not mean that I think all women should feel that way. I wish I hadn't felt that way. I wish I could have had the confidence to breastfeed my daughter anywhere that I went. I probably would have stuck with it much longer if I had not had to work so hard at filling bottles of breast milk and trying to warm them out in public in order to feed her. Now that I am nine years older than I was when I nursed my daughter and currently pregnant with my second child, I hope to be able to breastfeed in public with confidence this time around. To be honest, I will definitely be using a cover because of my own insecurities and also because I am still afraid of the backlash I might receive from the public if I expose myself. However, I think women should be able to breastfeed uncovered if they want to. While it is considered more polite to practice discretion while nursing, sometimes it is not always possible or comfortable to do so. Babies do not just wait to eat lunch until noon, especially not newborns. Babies get hungry randomly and when they do, mothers should not be made to feel like a plague on society if they have to feed their babies uncovered. Sometimes, mothers may not have a cover and sometimes, it is just too dang hot outside for the mother and the baby to be bothered by covering up. I can't imagine how uncomfortable it would be to have a blanket over your face while eating when it's 90+ degrees outside. Regardless of the fact that I have not done it myself, I think that women that nurse uncovered are brave, even if that's not what they are trying to be. If more women nursed in public, it might help lift the stigma off of the act.

The more the public sees women breastfeeding in public unashamedly, the more normal the act will become. If mothers don't see other mothers nursing, it reinforces the idea that nursing in public is unacceptable and should only be done at home in private. I hope that one day this will not even be an issue up for debate. It would be so wonderful if someday soon nursing mothers everywhere could feel free to feed their babies wherever they need to with the support of their community and plentiful public accommodations for them to do so.

References:

https://www.msn.com/en-us/travel/news/mom-calls-out-air-canada-for-telling-her-to-breastfeed-in-the-airplane-bathroom/ar-BBUDAib?li=BBnbklE

https://people.com/health/moms-public-breastfeeding-rights/

https://slate.com/culture/2015/05/how-public-breast-feeding-became-taboo-in-america.html