REGRET

Thinking and writing!

I find myself lost inside my mind with feelings of regret about my personal views of what is and what once wasn't. I've been told by others that I have a peculiar way of seeing life, in an analytical form, and currently, I find that to be true. But I didn't always have the time or want to be silent with myself. My current physical state has been the cause of my change. And today, I feel like writing this that's on my mind, and don't get me wrong, I don't consider myself a great writer or thinker. I am just an Insignificant person like everyone else. The difference is that I chose a path of knowledge and self-observation to live a life with a better grasp of my purpose in this life. I have suffered from my mistakes and those done by others, but every scar and imperfection has taught me something about myself and others. The time alone has been hard, but valuable. I have discovered my inner strength. Something back in my early 20s I would have liked to know. The biggest lesson I had to learn at a young age was self-love, and struggle with it until my late 30s. Now I know why it was so hard for me to love myself growing up. You are taught certain values and beliefs about religion and culture. That when you start growing up and know yourself differently, it makes it harder to accept yourself. I do not blame or hold that against my family; they did their best. I think that if my life had been different from what I lived, my knowledge wouldn't be as it is now. Yes, pain and suffering are difficult to deal with, but they are great teachers. If you had asked me how do you deal with pain? when I was in my 20s, I probably would have said you're crazy I hate pain! But like I said before, pain and suffering are the greatest teachers. The biggest regret that I find myself struggling with is accepting not knowing what I know now. I am grateful for everything I've been through, but I am still human and continue to learn, just like all of you. Furthermore, my way of dealing with these past thoughts is by identifying, accepting, and writing. When becoming aware of the self, It's easier to just stop and think about what's bothering you and put it on paper, to analyze yourself. This is not easy at the beginning. It has taken me two and a half years to learn this, and continue to learn. I conclude that no matter how much progress you have accomplished, don't think you're doing something wrong by feeling some kind of regret. You will have those moments of deep thinking, especially when you're working on yourself.

-jb1writes

"Life is too short to be stuck in one way of life get to know the self"