TO THE SILENT ABUSER

I hide in myself

Do you notice or care?

Your words spill from a razored tongue

Bitch Whore

You call me stupid

I apologize for being me

You never apologize

You don't have to, you're a man...

Insults are my constant companion

I am the one who changes. I change

For you.

And I feel fake.

I slip on my mask.

You slice me with your barbed words

Cow with head in barbed wire...

You're too fat

I starve myself

You're too skinny

I eat

Why can't you dress like they do?

Why can't you be someone else...? I

Dream of divorcing you.

My body is dying

I cannot look like them

I try to, I do, to please u, but

Again...fake...lies

Why can't you wear makeup like your friends? Be beautiful... is the slap in my face, as if your hand

I say, I am naturally beautiful,

You once agreed...

I hate you...is what I want to say

Instead...

You are in charge..

I want to kill you...

Your makeup is fake... Mary;

you look old

I loathe you...

Your eyes have wrinkles...

take better care of yourself

I despise you...

you embarrass me

My mind screams that you are my wrinkles...my plague.

My self-worth is gone

Inside I hide.

I become numb to the mind rape,

You perform on me...

See, my

Death is coming.

My triumphant escape.