NEED A RELATIONSHIP RESET?

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Submitted Date 10/31/2018
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Have you ever been in an amazing relationship and then suddenly, it all seems to be so stressful? It could be a friendship or a romantic relationship that goes south. It could even be your relationship with family members that suffers.

Just as things happen in life that change the direction we take, things can happen in a relationship that also change the path our relationships take. Sometimes, there are extreme situations such as abuse or irreconcilable differences that will lead to the end. When “love” (or whatever it may be) is destructive, the relationship with oneself is the most important.

I have experienced this reality myself in my past and have realized that some of the best ways I healed and strengthened the relationship I have with myself was by moving to a new place or starting a new chapter in my life in one way or another. In a way, I embraced a reset.

In addition to the relationship we have with ourselves, a reset can improve the relationships we have with others if both parties are willing to do the work.

The way people respond to things that happen in life and in their relationships influence how such relationships unfold and evolve over time. While there are times when you need to face when a relationship has taken its due course like in the instance of learning of someone’s abusive behavior, there are times when all you need is a reset.

Embracing the change to “Reset” your relationship can be tough.

Sometimes this means stopping yourself from focusing on the things that someone may have done wrong or didn’t do in the past.

Sometimes it means being patient to allow someone to find their way to the place that you are.

Sometimes it is about being patient with yourself or the other person to adapt to changes.

Resetting is not just about going back to the way things were before. Sometimes, there is no going back. You have changed. They have changed.

Instead, resetting is sometimes about embracing how new or different your relationship is. How new or different one person is or how both have changed.

It could also be about adjusting the way we think of something or the way we handle a situation.

It could be about a willingness to make compromises.

A relationship may need a reset from time to time, and the type of reset depends on the situation. A reset does not wash away the past or the issues you fight about. Memories remain but a reset will help you be more mindful in the present moment of the relationship.

Being mindful of the value of a reset and the type of reset you are embracing in your relationship is just as important as making the choice to reset your relationship.

How different would relationships, especially marriages, be if couples were more willing to reset their relationships?

How different would our daily lives be if we realized we needed to reset our schedules to find a work/life balance that works, to find time for loved ones, to find time for yourself?

How would our thoughts and perspectives change if we recognized the potential of a reset?

It’s okay to have to work on a relationship. It’s not okay to just walk away without willing to do any work. Relationships are not easy. When there is still constructive love, a reset is worth the effort to live those good days to the fullest despite the moody ones, the stressful ones, or any other descriptive way you would label a bad day in your relationship.  

Photo by Allan Filipe Santos Dias on Unsplash

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